It's 7pm and It's the last day of winter break.
During the last two weeks I've been tidying my bedroom (I still haven't finished yet) and, three or four days ago, my parents told me to sleep in the guest room so I wouldn't sleep in the middle of the mess. I'm having a hard time focussing due to my ADHD which also causes time blindness, making all this harder than it's supposed to be. In a way, it is also my own fault if I struggle since I constantly refuse any help when it comes to tidy my room. It's not like I had anything to hide, it just makes me feel uncomfortable to have someone else tidy a place that's supposed to be mine and that
I feel even more ashamed by the fact that despite the promise I made to my mom, I couldn't manage to finish and have to sleep in the guest room once again. I don't like my room but it is still my room, it is small, I feel trapped in it and I can't keep it tidy but it stays the place I am supposed to feel like myself in. I want my last months in this house to be as enjoyable as possible but it's so hard to feel okay in a place you're sick of... I don't know if I'll miss my town or house when I'll be living in Grenoble but I hope I'll be happier in that appartement and that high school is better than middle school. Last month went with my dad to visit my (hopefully) future high school. Everyone was so kind and I got complimented over my clothing style and button pins for the first time ever! A small group of students guided us during our visit and they were just SO COOL!!! I already knew one of them (I'll call him "Shrimp") since we are online friends and he was in middle school with my best friend (whom I will call "Bee" for BEE.F.F. °-°). It seems there's a lot of LGBT+ people at this high school. It is great and I finally won't feel alone and even if I sometimes do, it'll definitely be better than my middle school full of students that are racist, LGBTphobic, misogyne, anti-Furry, Anti-Therian, victim blame and make r*pe "jokes". Adding to that I just feel uncomfortable there in general. I feel like my whole friendgroup is falling appart, probably because it IS falling appart. I've come to a point where I wonder if my only real friends in that group are Jo and Shooting-star. They're my neibours and two of my closest friends. Jo is in my class, Shooting-star isn't (I call her that because she's overlly similar to Mabel Pines). They are great people.
/!\ ONE OF MY WISH BRACELETS FELL, IT SEEMS MY WISH HAS BECAME REALITY. IT WAS SMT ALONG THE LINES OF "I wish that someone falls in love with me and that I love them back" AND I HAVE NO IDEA IF I EVEN HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT'S EITHER THAT SOMEONE IS IN LOVE WITH ME AND THAT I WILL LOVE THEM BACK/REALIZE I LOVE THEM BACK OR THAT THE BRACELET WAS SO WORN OUT THAT IT SIMPLY LEFT US WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO MAKE MY WISH BECOME REALITY AND I REALLY WANT TO KNOW I'LL TELL Y'ALL IF THERE'S ANYTHING NEW ABT THAT BYEEE GOOD NIGHT/!\